If you’re looking to be [Insert Your Name], God of Sex, look no further than the Venus Butterfly sex position. This MF-er is the jam, my friends. It is a sex position that focuses on the vulva, combining internal stimulation of the vagina and G-spot area with external stimulation of the clitoral glans.
Combined internal and external clitoral stimulation? Oh my! It’s like a smorgasbord of female-bodied delight. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to master your dexterity and give your partner many, MANY orgasms. If this sounds like your jam, let’s go! Here’s everything you need to know about the Venus Butterfly.
What is the Venus Butterfly sex position?
The Venus Butterfly is a position that focuses entirely on female-bodied pleasure. It is basically a love note dedicated to the vulva (and vagina). Its purpose? To engage the entire clitoris, both external and internal, in one harmonious extravaganza.
In its most classic form, the receiving partner lies on their back, legs spread and bent like a butterfly. The giving partner lies or kneels between them in order to have optimal access to the vulva and vagina with their mouth, hands, and toys.
It looks like this:
“The position has a lot of variety, as you can use fingers, toys, or even a tongue internally while stimulating the clit with any of the above,” explains Lorrae Bradbury, a sex coach and founder of the sex-positive site Slutty Girl Problems. “You can mix and match any tools and techniques for pleasure, as long as there’s both internal and external stimulation.”
Now, if you’re thinking: OK, but what about my dick? Does that count as internal? You CAN technically use a penis as the internal factor, but I’d think of that as an improved missionary rather than endow it with the holy name of the goddess Venus, you vibin’ with me?
What are the benefits of the Venus Butterfly position?
Firstly, this position is designed to focus on your female/clitoris-owning partner, so the first benefit is that it can make for some very fun power dynamics. Plus, it shows you truly care about their pleasure and are devoted to giving them pleasure. This can help any shy babes amongst us feel empowered and sexy. Good sex requires being in a positive headspace, so anything you can do to help your partner get there is a bonus.
The Venus Butterly is also the center of what we educators call the blended orgasm: Combined stimulation of different (but similar) erogenous zones for a truly explosive orgasmic experience. “Stimulation of multiple sites is extremely important for vulva-owners’ pleasure,” explains Kenneth Play, a world-renowned sex hacker and creator of the Sex Hacker Pro Series. “In this sex act, you get to stimulate the clit, G-spot, and any other spots in the vagina (A-spot or cervix) all at once. This leads to stimulation of the many nerve pathways that go up to the brain all at the same time, creating a richer subjective experience.”
Lastly, amongst all this other goodness is this technique’s truly wondrous capacity for variation. “It’s the perfect oral position to get creative and experimental with oral,” Bradbury says.
Does the Venus Butterly position work for anal?
Since the Venus Butterly position has nearly endless variations, it can also be used for some anal play. “Rimming (or oral stimulation around the anus) can be a fantastic warm-up and relaxation technique before exploring anal penetration,” Bradbury says. “Start slow with a lot of lubrication and gently massage the area in circular motions to relax the sphincter muscles. Be sure to use a lot of lube and go slow and gentle with any penetration.”
You can also stick to rimming on its own, sans penetration—whatever feels best for you. Your partner can stimulate themselves during rimming with a dual action toy like the Ose 2 by Lora DiCarlo. (Check out this guide for our favorite dual stimulators for vulvas).
Don’t be afraid to get some anal toys up in there. You can simply (gently) pop in a small butt toy and then go back to focusing on your practice of stimulating the G-spot and external clitoris with your mouth and fingers/G-spot toy.
The bottom line: Get creative with it. Don’t forget to communicate with your partner and be sure they’re feeling comfortable with everything that is going down. Anal play isn’t for everyone so it’s important we’re all on the same page. Sexual check-ins are H-O-T.
Try these variations on the Venus Butterfly position:
Depending on your mobility, preferences, and the type of stimulation you enjoy, there may be ways to maximize this position for your specific needs. Bradbury suggests getting some pillow action up in your game: “Put a pillow under your hips to get easier access to the G-spot and intensify the sensation. Use a curved toy or fingers in a come-hither motion inside the vagina to target the G-spot.”
Play emphasizes the need for foreplay before attempting the Venus, as this position can be extremely sensitive for some, i.e.: warm-up is required. “Because of the intensity of an experience that involves stimulation of multiple spots, foreplay is extra important,” he says. “Getting the whole mind, heart, and body warmed up is a really good idea. [I] also recommend starting with clitoral (or penile) stimulation before engaging in [any] penetration.”
This position is not for every person and this last fact is really important to remember. Some people are going to be all about dual stimulation, others won’t be into it. Every single vulva (and penis, too!) is unique and enjoys different things. Be willing to get curious with it, communicate, and enjoy yourselves. Sex should be fun; don’t get too bogged down by the pressure of sexual acrobatics.
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