If you have a problem in your sex life, asking for advice can be rife with embarrassment. We, as a society, are far too hard-wired to feel shame when it comes to openly discussing our bodies and our sexuality, especially with people of older generations. Which is a real pity, because it turns out, grandparents know a thing or two about sex. How else do you think your mom and dad happened?
In a YouTube series from The Cut called ‘Grandmas Give Sex Advice’, three grandmothers named Sandra, Samantha, and Lou answer questions about sex and pleasure, drawing on their own lifetimes’ worth of experiences. And while the most popular, socially accepted idea of an older woman might be prim and proper, these girls have lived.
Take the first caller, who frequently ends up giving head to her partner for long periods of time. “I don’t have a problem giving a blowjob,” says Samantha, “but 40 minutes? Come on. That’s him looking forward to having her do all the work.” Meanwhile, Lou suggests a cutoff window of “15 minutes, tops.”
Elsewhere, a woman who only started having sex with her husband after they got married asks how she might best introduce sex toys. “Maybe he could use one by himself just to get more comfortable with the idea of using a toy,” says Lou. “It’s new to him, one step at a time.”
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Another caller says that his wife has been increasingly suggesting that they try pegging, where the female partner assumes the penetrative sexual role with a strap-on dildo. “In my experience, as a woman doing that, it just felt good to be the one who was in charge,” says Lou.
Sandra, meanwhile, suggests taking baby steps, and maybe starting with a smaller anal massager. “He might want to experience that on a slower level, before you go with a strap and get down and get jiggy with it.”
And when it comes to the age-old question of how much sex a couple should be having, or how often, Sandra simply states: “If you feel that need to have sex, that’s a good thing, because people don’t have it… You’re blessed.”
Philip Ellis is a freelance writer and journalist from the United Kingdom covering pop culture, relationships and LGBTQ+ issues.
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