Filmed in and outside London somehow during a global pandemic, Sexy Beasts features a cast of animal-prosthetic-dressed singles speed dating, drinking through beaks, and crossing their human fingers that their chosen animal companion is secretly hot. Spoiler: everybody is secretly hot.
The series plays like some ungodly cross between The Masked Singer and Dating Around. Each episode features one lead single choosing among three other heterosexual singles. They go on a choreographed date (likely with vaccinated background actors), they awkwardly flirt through several layers and three hours of makeup, one is then eliminated and revealed, before the lead decides, after the second/final date, which “sexy beast” he/she wants to… go on a third date with? It’s not super clear.
Unlike other dating shows, most contestants on Sexy Beasts seemed indifferent to the outcome of their dates. While many paid lip service to the show’s mostly outdated and mostly empirically false morale (some variation of: I really only care about personality, and that’s why I’m here), the majority spent their confessional interviews musing over their partner’s real face and body and whether it would be hot enough to justify their personality judgements. There’s nothing wrong with requiring physical attraction when dating—we’re just gonna make that clear. Pretending otherwise… that’s where the show becomes disingenuous. Own your shallowness, people. There is no shame.
The season ended with six couples. Here’s what we know about their continued relationship status.
Bennett (Mandrill) and Emma (Devil)
Emma is a model in New York. Bennett is a “gentle giant” in California. So far, their Instagrams don’t imply East stayed with West Coast.
Follow them anyway: @emmapapatzanaki and @bennettcangetit
James (Beaver) and Alexis (Leapord)
James is an LA-based actor. Alexis is a singer/songwriter living in New York, and, apparently, in a relationship with another guy. So that’s that.
Follow them anyway: @shinobijames and @alexis_y_ortiz
Tyler (Alien) and Kariselle (Panda)
Kariselle is a comedian and former Miss New Jersey winner. Tyler is an LA-based actor. They may be the only couple from Sexy Beasts with at least a lingering flirtation-ship. They comment on each other’s Instagrams. #modernlove
Follow them: @kariselle and @tylersmithwho
Ibrahim (Wolf) and Gabi (Owl)
Gabi is a veterinarian student living in London—and seemingly in relationship with a lad who is not Tyler.
Follow her anyway: @gabimascaro
Mick (Rhino) and Nina (Dolphin)
The two are both based in California and don’t seem to be dating other people. There is hope. (It must have been the prosthetic nose kiss.)
Follow them: @ninalamoglia and @mickythemonkeyman
Kelechi (Rooster) and Martha (Reindeer)
They live across the pond from each other, but other than some flirty Instagram comments, their relationship status is unknown.
Follow them anyway: @klechy and @marthaarmitageofficial
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